A Dream Deferred

                                                         What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run? A
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

                                                                    Or does it explode? 

  

              A dream deferred is a dream forgotten. I think dreams take a long time to achieve. That's why they're call "dreams" in the first place; because they are tasks that take time and hard work to get to, and might even seem somewhat impossible to achieve. If you put off a dream, you're going to eventually forget what you wished to do and you dream ends up as a white sheet of paper, never used and blown away to who-knows-where.
         Dreams are one of our purposes in life. I think that's why we go to school. So we can learn stuff and maybe become the president, a congressman , or an  even smarter version of  Steve Jobs. Dreams are probably deferred because people begin to think they're impossible to achieve. They slowly start to neglect that dream, shoving it into a trunk in the back of their minds. My parents probably used to have dreams too. Maybe they stopped dreaming because they thought they had no time to achieve that dream since they already had a family and 'reality' to deal with.
        A deferred dreams does not explode. To me,'exploding' mean fireworks; fireworks are beautiful and happy. Deferred dreams are not. I guess sometimes it's necessary to postpone a dream if you're too occupied with other stuff.. Stuff such as jobs or your kid. Me, I daydream a  lot on class. I like dreaming when there's nothing better to do. I like imagining how I would leave a legacy in the world after I die. And all the stuffs in between. Hanging on to a  dream wont hurt anyone, so why put it off  in a corner ?A forgotten dream is kinda lonely. Where would my aim go ?

CE: Execution without notice

"It has also been reported that at least 146 secret executions have taken place to date in 2011," it said.
"Vakilabad officials, in violation of Iranian law, allegedly carried out the executions without the knowledge or presence of the inmates' lawyers or families and without prior notification to those executed."

        Wow,hundreds of prisoners have been secretly executed in Iran. I didn't know there were still such things as execution nowadays. I thought there was just jail for the rest of your life or something. I guess not ? Murder, rape, armed robbery, drug trafficking and adultery are among the crimes punishable by death in Iran. They said that "the death penalty is essential to maintain law and order, and that it is applied only after exhaustive judicial proceedings." I think it's alright for the really, really BAD people to be executed, but at least give them prior notice . Because no matter how evil they were, they might have still wanted to say some last words to their family. And for the family.. imagine going to jail one day, visiting their son like usual, but being notified that their son had already died, but they don't even know why, when, or how.
       Human Rights Watch counted 388 executions in Iran in 2010, ranking the Islamic republic second only to China in the number of people put to death last year. Isn't Iran kind of..small compared to China ? Yet it's ranked 2nd in executing people ?" Four per cent of executions stipulated no charges, 100 juveniles were on death row, and that more than 100 executions this year alone were for drug-related offences." That's kind of extreme...it's like being executed for smoking weed. Teens should'nt be killed either because they're young, so of course they'd do stupid stuff. I think Iran is too...bloodthirsty.

RE: I have a bucket list ! :)

This is from Nicholas Cheung.

I wonder how many people have an actual bucket list.

        I have a bucket list ! :) I add to it every year. I think the reason I keep one is so I wont forget what my wishes were because my memory isn't that great. One of my biggest goals is that, by the end of senior year, I would break the school record for 400m in track. And maybe be valedictorian when we graduate. Theres like probably 10% chance of these even actually happening but... dare to dream, people. :) I aim to live till 135 and eat birthday cake with my great-great grand kids. I'm not really into traveling, so that's not on my list. I want to go to a Taylor Swift concert. She's so pretty. I want to give birth to twin kids, and be a verrrrrrry pretty and fit mom; not a chubby one with lots of rolls that doesn't exercise after her pregnancy because she feels like she's already a  married woman, so who is she even trying to impress. I want lots and lots of new clothes and shoes and jewelry; the typical girl stuff !
       I want a watergun so when I have waterfights in the summer, I will blast the crap out of everyone LOL. I want to grow my hair down to my butt and mess with it during math class [I hate math] .I want an itouch. -_- My parents say they're distracting and why do I need one. Mom and dad,what century are we in? I'm BORED since you guys don't let me go on the computer on schooldays.I want to eat turkey during Thanksgiving. Yeah, we're so Asian, we don't celebrate Thanksgiving. My mom is all "who cares about Indians" .I want to eat banana creme pie and never get cancer or diabetes or those scary stuff. The list goes on and on.

Free: littering

          I was chilling in the park with my friend, and I see this 6 or 7 year old kid, he's eating his bag of chips. He's done and he suddenly flings his trash to the floor and runs up the slide to play tag or whatnot with his friends. I got really annoyed and disgusted. I mean, come on, the trashcan is 10 feet away. What is wrong with society ? I mean, I litter sometimes too but that mostly when there's no trashcan. But actually.. . I can't even blame the kid as much as I would blame his parents. It's their job to teach him stuff like this. I wouldn't mind as much if he littered a gum wrapper or something, but its a huge chip bag.  I was going to find  that kid and make him pick it up but I forgot how he looked like haha,
          I sat there at the playground and that piece of trash was starting to annoy me. The poor play ground getting all dirty and trashy because of kids who don't use thier brains and pick up after themselves. I told my friend "I'm going to pick it up !!" They said, 'Wow, really." YEAP. I normally wouldn't have pick up random trash when I see it but it's just that it got littered in front of my face. Oh well at least I'll get good karma! That kid wont. Fosho.
         By the way, yesterday we went over to Encinal because there was that lockdown at school. It's hella hot in their buildings and it's really small everywhere.I like their track and ocean view tho. :) K.

CE: California Shooting

At least eight people killed in hair salon near Los Angeles by man described as a former member of the armed forces.

        So apparently the assailant, Scott Evans Dekraai of Huntington Beach, California,was believed to be in the middle of a custody battle with his wife, who is an employee of the salon. He killed his ex-wife along with 7 other people, and wounded a ninth.A witness said "He proceeded to calmly tell them that there were rifles in the front passenger side ... he said he had a knife in each pocket ." Scott  wanted custody over their 8-year old son, and the dispute was the motive for the shooting. No wonder your wife didn't want you to get custody of the kid. You're a psycho -_-. He was armed with three guns ; a 9 mm Springfield, a Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum, and a Heckler & Koch .45. Scott was also was wearing body armor during the shooting rampage.
          Scott was not satisfied with just murdering his target, his ex-wife. For almost two minutes, he shot victim after victim, killing  people by shooting them in the head and chest. About 20 people were inside the salon during the shooting, and many of them were "playing dead, hiding in backrooms, just trying to stay out of his way" These are some smart people. My mom always told me, if there's a psycho killer, play dead and smear blood on your face. Thank god Scott got arrested afterward. What kind of twisted fatherly love is this? Now his 8-year old son has no mother, and has to live with the fact that his father is a murderer. Scott  Dekraai wouldn't have done this if he truly loved his son. I think he simply wanted revenge.

RE: Running is a passion

It's amazing because in the end of the race, their team makes a world record of 37.04! Usain Bolt recovered his other title too at the 4x1 making 2 medals out of 3. That's about nine seconds each running 100 meters. The world record before 37.04 was 37.10 seconds. I'd like to see the next world record for this. Majority of world records are held by Jamaicans and probably will be in the future. But overall, that's real effort into a race. I totally wish I could be there; other people would too but I think I would of screwed up their team obviously. It's world class athletes, something I always dream to be in.

        I found this on Gendarme's blog. That story was fun to read :) I remember I didn't know who the heck Usain Bolt was until this year when people in track practice was talking about how he false started once, and they kept imitating him. I would've liked to see them run too. Our coach Justin says Jamaicans are fast because they walk 5 miles to school each day .When they were little, they had no shoes so they always ran barefoot, which is actually really good for your ankle.
         I like running too. RUNNING IS MY PASSION. Sort of. I like it when it's not too hot or too cold. Sometimes I get lazy and skip practice but my heart still beats so fast when I remember my races. I get this feeling...my memories of all the anticipation and getting my end result.I feel like I'm 'there' again. The sweetness of being first in your heat/group. Relays are so beautiful. It takes a good hand off and teamwork to pull though; like Gendarme said, you need real effort.
         My sprint medley at Castro Valley was the first race I had ever pulled though as first place in my heat. I LOVE thinking about it. Watching, and rewatching that race video.Heehee :D I remember I messed up my hand off with Michelle and we almost passed the hand off zone for our baton passing [ if you DO pass it, you get disqualified]. And I forgot we could cut in the lane because I was on lane 5,and my coach was screaming 'GIGI CUT IN'  I was the anchor. So this black girl [ no racial ] is running ahead of me [we're running a lap,400 meters] and it was a sunny late afternoon. She was ahead of me until the second curve of the track, and then  I passed her. Oh my. I pushed my self to run, run, run. It was crazy. I was so scared she was right on my heels. I heard all the cheers; it was so loud all around and then..I realized I was still first. I push through to the finish line and turn around to see where all the other runners were at. Then I threw my arms up in the air,still holding my baton " WOOOOOO!" oh yeah (:
          You know how people saying 'Winning isn't the most important thing '? It's not but it feels so..I cant explain. Afterward, I ran over to my teammates and we all hugged the life outta each other.

Free: Building Something With My Own Hands

           Last Friday, we had no school. I woke up thinking "oh good, today I'm going to finish watching my Korean drama and just chill" but no, my dad decided to buy drawers from IKEA and make me build them -_- . He's been remodeling my room so he decided to buy new furniture. I like new furniture. So he comes home with those white drawers and he's like 'Build it" I didnt think he was serious. At first, I was really annoyed, but actually, it wasn't that bad.
          Thank god there was an instruction manual. It was my second time building something besides that ugly cutting board I made in wood shop during 8th grade. There were about 27 steps. I took the boards out of the box and just sat there starring at them for a while.It's not super difficult, but it just takes time to figure out which boards go where and if you're placing them in the right direction. I had to be careful screwing in those stupid nails because they kept going in lopsided. I started building it around 1 in the afternoon and worked on it till 4. AND I STILL WASN'T DONE. My knees hurt so much from kneeling on the ground. However, in the end, when I finally finished...I felt so accomplished. I built something with my own hands.I didn't accidentally hammer my finger. And its not ugly ! AND my parents complimented me too. They said " Oh,you're so smart !" Oh yeah. (:

BiWeekly:Living to the fullest ?

              I agree with Steve Jobs that "all eternal expectations,pride,all fear of embarrassment or failure fall away in the face of death, leaving what is important". I think Jobs is trying to say that he's done a lot of embarrassing things before, but in the end, when he dies, he won't be remembered for those embarrassing moments, but for his achievements. I feel like.. the only thing people leave behind when they die, besides their ashes, are memories. Like what everyone else would say, give your best to achieve something. Your dreams will die out once you yourself die, so you must 'reach for the stars' while you still have the chance.Therefore, you shouldn't let your stubborn pride get in your way; people tend to not admit they're wrong and stuff because their 'pride' is so big.You won't be worrying about that when you get hit by a car and is bleeding to death. You might be thinking you really shouldn't have yelled at your wife for not making you pancakes for breakfast ; you want to apologize but you cant anymore. You might even turn into that one ghost in paranormal activity because you have 'unsettled business'.
             I find that I cannot live everyday to the fullest. Once, I read something like "  If I lived everyday like it was my last, I'd be in jail."I find this quote quite true. People tend to panic when they're about to die. If they want some candy but had no money, they'd go and rob the candy store because, why bother thinking about the later consequences when you're about to die anyways?Why do homework ? Why go to school ? Why not drive a car even  though we aren't old enough yet ? I would do some very crazy things.
            As for me, I cannot forgive so fast, so easily. Living everyday to the fullest feels feels.. rushed. Goals take time to achieve. However, it would be another story if I knew for sure I was going to die.I would taste all my favorite foods for the last time, and take a billion pictures with both my friends and family. I'd give everyone one last hug and kiss on the cheek and die in that Snow White sleeping position hahaha. :)
          One situation in which " living everyday like it's your last " would be good advice is when you're making hard decisions. When you're having doubts, such as.. should I buy this car ? should I take this job ? should I sleep in ? Should I ask out the person I like ?Go ahead. Life is really short.To me, days past by really, really fast. It's October right now and from what it feels like each year, I blink, and then its May. School passes by like a blur. I have so much stuff to do and most of what I remember is so vague. Given the opportunity to go sky diving or go parachuting, I would. I can't guaranteed I'd have a memorable day every single moment of this lifetime, but its alright.

RE: that's being so..rude

Sharon  said:

Many people say i'm mean because i always say "you look fat.." "ugh... your hair is awful.." and "you suck at this, your just jealous you cant be like me.." Okay, i litereally do say those stuff.but it's not because i'm mean, it's because i'm being honest and i'm preparing you for the real world.

      Sorry, but I have to totally disagree with that. Honestly I think barely anyone ' in the real world'  would tell their friends that they're 'ugly' to their face. It's just so rude and harsh. Like my parents always tell me, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Would you like your friends to tell you " You're so ugly and your hair looks disgusting today?' nah, I didn't think so. If  someone said that to me, I'd probably get so butthurt I'd go run them over with my lawnmower  lol. Us girls are insecure about ourselves enough as it is; why in the world would you add in a bunch of unnecessary comments like that ? You can joke about it, but it really hurts if you're saying it for real.  In my opinion,it's not preparing  anyone for anything except that us girls need to loose more weight, starve ourselves skinny and buy a ton of products to make ourselves 'prettier'.
     In Ap Euro we learned that back then, chubby women were considered rich and pretty and stuff. Cause being fat meant you had hella food to eat and you had hella money. Skinny people were poor. Maybe we should all go back to those times haha.
    

CE: Life sucks and then you die when you're finally about to get something good.

                A scientist who won the Nobel prize for medicine for his work on cancer, died of the disease just days before he could be told of the award.

         I find this so ironic. Ralph Steinman studied at New York's Rockefeller University and had prolonged his own life with a new therapy based on his prize-winning research into the body's immune system.The 68-year-old physician, who joked last week with his family about hanging on until the annual prize declaration, died on Friday after a four-year battle with pancreatic cancer. He was the first person in half a century to win a posthumous [ after death] Nobel prize.The Nobel Committee spent the morning calling Steinman to offer the traditional congratulations only to discover the tragic situatuion.After debating on the fate of the prize, and money worth three quarters of a million dollars, they decided it would go to Steinman's heirs.
        His university said: "Steinman ... was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer four years ago, and his life was extended using a dendritic-cell based immunotherapy of his own design." That is really cool. I have total respect for him because he was able to fight his cancer for about four years using his own research. It's almost like he's changing up his fate with his own power.  He probably would've died a lot earlier if he had not brought out his  intelligence to try and cure himself and others of cancer. However, it was very unfortunate for him to die a few days before he could enjoy his prize. If I was him, I'd die with so much regret I'd come back as a ghost, grab my prize and THEN go to heaven. lolol.

I still want to go trick-or-treating this year...

           I'm probably too old to still trick-or-treat and stuff but it's so fun. I know, I'm hella immature. However, the first time I ever went trick or treating was seventh grade. I am a deprived child hahaha! My parents are strict and my curfew usually six, but on Halloween, I get to stay out till nine ! And I like candy. (:  I remembered last year I got a whole bunch HAHAHA. I was in heaven. OH and there was this lady whose doorbell we rang, and then she came out and her dog tried to get out too.And she said, " Get back in the house Gigi." and all my friends looked at me. teehee :) I'm so cool people name their dogs after me ! It was a cute dog; really fluffy and white.
         Last year I dressed up as a princess. But honestly, I just wanted to wear a dress and a crown. This year, I want to be a Tigger [the one from Winnie the Pooh]! About a week ago,  I went to Costco , and there were racks where they sell costumes for kids. They were so cute! I was looking around after I finished browsing the food aisle; then I saw the tigger costume !! But of course, it was too small for me. I would've probably needed to shrink back to a 6 year old. They should totally sell adult tigger suits though ! I would wear it for Halloween and bounce down the streets saying " TTFN ! TA TA FOR NOW !" ohmygosh ♥ Then I'd go scare the living daylights out of some random kid .