A Dream Deferred

                                                         What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run? A
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

                                                                    Or does it explode? 

  

              A dream deferred is a dream forgotten. I think dreams take a long time to achieve. That's why they're call "dreams" in the first place; because they are tasks that take time and hard work to get to, and might even seem somewhat impossible to achieve. If you put off a dream, you're going to eventually forget what you wished to do and you dream ends up as a white sheet of paper, never used and blown away to who-knows-where.
         Dreams are one of our purposes in life. I think that's why we go to school. So we can learn stuff and maybe become the president, a congressman , or an  even smarter version of  Steve Jobs. Dreams are probably deferred because people begin to think they're impossible to achieve. They slowly start to neglect that dream, shoving it into a trunk in the back of their minds. My parents probably used to have dreams too. Maybe they stopped dreaming because they thought they had no time to achieve that dream since they already had a family and 'reality' to deal with.
        A deferred dreams does not explode. To me,'exploding' mean fireworks; fireworks are beautiful and happy. Deferred dreams are not. I guess sometimes it's necessary to postpone a dream if you're too occupied with other stuff.. Stuff such as jobs or your kid. Me, I daydream a  lot on class. I like dreaming when there's nothing better to do. I like imagining how I would leave a legacy in the world after I die. And all the stuffs in between. Hanging on to a  dream wont hurt anyone, so why put it off  in a corner ?A forgotten dream is kinda lonely. Where would my aim go ?

CE: Execution without notice

"It has also been reported that at least 146 secret executions have taken place to date in 2011," it said.
"Vakilabad officials, in violation of Iranian law, allegedly carried out the executions without the knowledge or presence of the inmates' lawyers or families and without prior notification to those executed."

        Wow,hundreds of prisoners have been secretly executed in Iran. I didn't know there were still such things as execution nowadays. I thought there was just jail for the rest of your life or something. I guess not ? Murder, rape, armed robbery, drug trafficking and adultery are among the crimes punishable by death in Iran. They said that "the death penalty is essential to maintain law and order, and that it is applied only after exhaustive judicial proceedings." I think it's alright for the really, really BAD people to be executed, but at least give them prior notice . Because no matter how evil they were, they might have still wanted to say some last words to their family. And for the family.. imagine going to jail one day, visiting their son like usual, but being notified that their son had already died, but they don't even know why, when, or how.
       Human Rights Watch counted 388 executions in Iran in 2010, ranking the Islamic republic second only to China in the number of people put to death last year. Isn't Iran kind of..small compared to China ? Yet it's ranked 2nd in executing people ?" Four per cent of executions stipulated no charges, 100 juveniles were on death row, and that more than 100 executions this year alone were for drug-related offences." That's kind of extreme...it's like being executed for smoking weed. Teens should'nt be killed either because they're young, so of course they'd do stupid stuff. I think Iran is too...bloodthirsty.

RE: I have a bucket list ! :)

This is from Nicholas Cheung.

I wonder how many people have an actual bucket list.

        I have a bucket list ! :) I add to it every year. I think the reason I keep one is so I wont forget what my wishes were because my memory isn't that great. One of my biggest goals is that, by the end of senior year, I would break the school record for 400m in track. And maybe be valedictorian when we graduate. Theres like probably 10% chance of these even actually happening but... dare to dream, people. :) I aim to live till 135 and eat birthday cake with my great-great grand kids. I'm not really into traveling, so that's not on my list. I want to go to a Taylor Swift concert. She's so pretty. I want to give birth to twin kids, and be a verrrrrrry pretty and fit mom; not a chubby one with lots of rolls that doesn't exercise after her pregnancy because she feels like she's already a  married woman, so who is she even trying to impress. I want lots and lots of new clothes and shoes and jewelry; the typical girl stuff !
       I want a watergun so when I have waterfights in the summer, I will blast the crap out of everyone LOL. I want to grow my hair down to my butt and mess with it during math class [I hate math] .I want an itouch. -_- My parents say they're distracting and why do I need one. Mom and dad,what century are we in? I'm BORED since you guys don't let me go on the computer on schooldays.I want to eat turkey during Thanksgiving. Yeah, we're so Asian, we don't celebrate Thanksgiving. My mom is all "who cares about Indians" .I want to eat banana creme pie and never get cancer or diabetes or those scary stuff. The list goes on and on.

Free: littering

          I was chilling in the park with my friend, and I see this 6 or 7 year old kid, he's eating his bag of chips. He's done and he suddenly flings his trash to the floor and runs up the slide to play tag or whatnot with his friends. I got really annoyed and disgusted. I mean, come on, the trashcan is 10 feet away. What is wrong with society ? I mean, I litter sometimes too but that mostly when there's no trashcan. But actually.. . I can't even blame the kid as much as I would blame his parents. It's their job to teach him stuff like this. I wouldn't mind as much if he littered a gum wrapper or something, but its a huge chip bag.  I was going to find  that kid and make him pick it up but I forgot how he looked like haha,
          I sat there at the playground and that piece of trash was starting to annoy me. The poor play ground getting all dirty and trashy because of kids who don't use thier brains and pick up after themselves. I told my friend "I'm going to pick it up !!" They said, 'Wow, really." YEAP. I normally wouldn't have pick up random trash when I see it but it's just that it got littered in front of my face. Oh well at least I'll get good karma! That kid wont. Fosho.
         By the way, yesterday we went over to Encinal because there was that lockdown at school. It's hella hot in their buildings and it's really small everywhere.I like their track and ocean view tho. :) K.

CE: California Shooting

At least eight people killed in hair salon near Los Angeles by man described as a former member of the armed forces.

        So apparently the assailant, Scott Evans Dekraai of Huntington Beach, California,was believed to be in the middle of a custody battle with his wife, who is an employee of the salon. He killed his ex-wife along with 7 other people, and wounded a ninth.A witness said "He proceeded to calmly tell them that there were rifles in the front passenger side ... he said he had a knife in each pocket ." Scott  wanted custody over their 8-year old son, and the dispute was the motive for the shooting. No wonder your wife didn't want you to get custody of the kid. You're a psycho -_-. He was armed with three guns ; a 9 mm Springfield, a Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum, and a Heckler & Koch .45. Scott was also was wearing body armor during the shooting rampage.
          Scott was not satisfied with just murdering his target, his ex-wife. For almost two minutes, he shot victim after victim, killing  people by shooting them in the head and chest. About 20 people were inside the salon during the shooting, and many of them were "playing dead, hiding in backrooms, just trying to stay out of his way" These are some smart people. My mom always told me, if there's a psycho killer, play dead and smear blood on your face. Thank god Scott got arrested afterward. What kind of twisted fatherly love is this? Now his 8-year old son has no mother, and has to live with the fact that his father is a murderer. Scott  Dekraai wouldn't have done this if he truly loved his son. I think he simply wanted revenge.

RE: Running is a passion

It's amazing because in the end of the race, their team makes a world record of 37.04! Usain Bolt recovered his other title too at the 4x1 making 2 medals out of 3. That's about nine seconds each running 100 meters. The world record before 37.04 was 37.10 seconds. I'd like to see the next world record for this. Majority of world records are held by Jamaicans and probably will be in the future. But overall, that's real effort into a race. I totally wish I could be there; other people would too but I think I would of screwed up their team obviously. It's world class athletes, something I always dream to be in.

        I found this on Gendarme's blog. That story was fun to read :) I remember I didn't know who the heck Usain Bolt was until this year when people in track practice was talking about how he false started once, and they kept imitating him. I would've liked to see them run too. Our coach Justin says Jamaicans are fast because they walk 5 miles to school each day .When they were little, they had no shoes so they always ran barefoot, which is actually really good for your ankle.
         I like running too. RUNNING IS MY PASSION. Sort of. I like it when it's not too hot or too cold. Sometimes I get lazy and skip practice but my heart still beats so fast when I remember my races. I get this feeling...my memories of all the anticipation and getting my end result.I feel like I'm 'there' again. The sweetness of being first in your heat/group. Relays are so beautiful. It takes a good hand off and teamwork to pull though; like Gendarme said, you need real effort.
         My sprint medley at Castro Valley was the first race I had ever pulled though as first place in my heat. I LOVE thinking about it. Watching, and rewatching that race video.Heehee :D I remember I messed up my hand off with Michelle and we almost passed the hand off zone for our baton passing [ if you DO pass it, you get disqualified]. And I forgot we could cut in the lane because I was on lane 5,and my coach was screaming 'GIGI CUT IN'  I was the anchor. So this black girl [ no racial ] is running ahead of me [we're running a lap,400 meters] and it was a sunny late afternoon. She was ahead of me until the second curve of the track, and then  I passed her. Oh my. I pushed my self to run, run, run. It was crazy. I was so scared she was right on my heels. I heard all the cheers; it was so loud all around and then..I realized I was still first. I push through to the finish line and turn around to see where all the other runners were at. Then I threw my arms up in the air,still holding my baton " WOOOOOO!" oh yeah (:
          You know how people saying 'Winning isn't the most important thing '? It's not but it feels so..I cant explain. Afterward, I ran over to my teammates and we all hugged the life outta each other.

Free: Building Something With My Own Hands

           Last Friday, we had no school. I woke up thinking "oh good, today I'm going to finish watching my Korean drama and just chill" but no, my dad decided to buy drawers from IKEA and make me build them -_- . He's been remodeling my room so he decided to buy new furniture. I like new furniture. So he comes home with those white drawers and he's like 'Build it" I didnt think he was serious. At first, I was really annoyed, but actually, it wasn't that bad.
          Thank god there was an instruction manual. It was my second time building something besides that ugly cutting board I made in wood shop during 8th grade. There were about 27 steps. I took the boards out of the box and just sat there starring at them for a while.It's not super difficult, but it just takes time to figure out which boards go where and if you're placing them in the right direction. I had to be careful screwing in those stupid nails because they kept going in lopsided. I started building it around 1 in the afternoon and worked on it till 4. AND I STILL WASN'T DONE. My knees hurt so much from kneeling on the ground. However, in the end, when I finally finished...I felt so accomplished. I built something with my own hands.I didn't accidentally hammer my finger. And its not ugly ! AND my parents complimented me too. They said " Oh,you're so smart !" Oh yeah. (:

BiWeekly:Living to the fullest ?

              I agree with Steve Jobs that "all eternal expectations,pride,all fear of embarrassment or failure fall away in the face of death, leaving what is important". I think Jobs is trying to say that he's done a lot of embarrassing things before, but in the end, when he dies, he won't be remembered for those embarrassing moments, but for his achievements. I feel like.. the only thing people leave behind when they die, besides their ashes, are memories. Like what everyone else would say, give your best to achieve something. Your dreams will die out once you yourself die, so you must 'reach for the stars' while you still have the chance.Therefore, you shouldn't let your stubborn pride get in your way; people tend to not admit they're wrong and stuff because their 'pride' is so big.You won't be worrying about that when you get hit by a car and is bleeding to death. You might be thinking you really shouldn't have yelled at your wife for not making you pancakes for breakfast ; you want to apologize but you cant anymore. You might even turn into that one ghost in paranormal activity because you have 'unsettled business'.
             I find that I cannot live everyday to the fullest. Once, I read something like "  If I lived everyday like it was my last, I'd be in jail."I find this quote quite true. People tend to panic when they're about to die. If they want some candy but had no money, they'd go and rob the candy store because, why bother thinking about the later consequences when you're about to die anyways?Why do homework ? Why go to school ? Why not drive a car even  though we aren't old enough yet ? I would do some very crazy things.
            As for me, I cannot forgive so fast, so easily. Living everyday to the fullest feels feels.. rushed. Goals take time to achieve. However, it would be another story if I knew for sure I was going to die.I would taste all my favorite foods for the last time, and take a billion pictures with both my friends and family. I'd give everyone one last hug and kiss on the cheek and die in that Snow White sleeping position hahaha. :)
          One situation in which " living everyday like it's your last " would be good advice is when you're making hard decisions. When you're having doubts, such as.. should I buy this car ? should I take this job ? should I sleep in ? Should I ask out the person I like ?Go ahead. Life is really short.To me, days past by really, really fast. It's October right now and from what it feels like each year, I blink, and then its May. School passes by like a blur. I have so much stuff to do and most of what I remember is so vague. Given the opportunity to go sky diving or go parachuting, I would. I can't guaranteed I'd have a memorable day every single moment of this lifetime, but its alright.

RE: that's being so..rude

Sharon  said:

Many people say i'm mean because i always say "you look fat.." "ugh... your hair is awful.." and "you suck at this, your just jealous you cant be like me.." Okay, i litereally do say those stuff.but it's not because i'm mean, it's because i'm being honest and i'm preparing you for the real world.

      Sorry, but I have to totally disagree with that. Honestly I think barely anyone ' in the real world'  would tell their friends that they're 'ugly' to their face. It's just so rude and harsh. Like my parents always tell me, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Would you like your friends to tell you " You're so ugly and your hair looks disgusting today?' nah, I didn't think so. If  someone said that to me, I'd probably get so butthurt I'd go run them over with my lawnmower  lol. Us girls are insecure about ourselves enough as it is; why in the world would you add in a bunch of unnecessary comments like that ? You can joke about it, but it really hurts if you're saying it for real.  In my opinion,it's not preparing  anyone for anything except that us girls need to loose more weight, starve ourselves skinny and buy a ton of products to make ourselves 'prettier'.
     In Ap Euro we learned that back then, chubby women were considered rich and pretty and stuff. Cause being fat meant you had hella food to eat and you had hella money. Skinny people were poor. Maybe we should all go back to those times haha.
    

CE: Life sucks and then you die when you're finally about to get something good.

                A scientist who won the Nobel prize for medicine for his work on cancer, died of the disease just days before he could be told of the award.

         I find this so ironic. Ralph Steinman studied at New York's Rockefeller University and had prolonged his own life with a new therapy based on his prize-winning research into the body's immune system.The 68-year-old physician, who joked last week with his family about hanging on until the annual prize declaration, died on Friday after a four-year battle with pancreatic cancer. He was the first person in half a century to win a posthumous [ after death] Nobel prize.The Nobel Committee spent the morning calling Steinman to offer the traditional congratulations only to discover the tragic situatuion.After debating on the fate of the prize, and money worth three quarters of a million dollars, they decided it would go to Steinman's heirs.
        His university said: "Steinman ... was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer four years ago, and his life was extended using a dendritic-cell based immunotherapy of his own design." That is really cool. I have total respect for him because he was able to fight his cancer for about four years using his own research. It's almost like he's changing up his fate with his own power.  He probably would've died a lot earlier if he had not brought out his  intelligence to try and cure himself and others of cancer. However, it was very unfortunate for him to die a few days before he could enjoy his prize. If I was him, I'd die with so much regret I'd come back as a ghost, grab my prize and THEN go to heaven. lolol.

I still want to go trick-or-treating this year...

           I'm probably too old to still trick-or-treat and stuff but it's so fun. I know, I'm hella immature. However, the first time I ever went trick or treating was seventh grade. I am a deprived child hahaha! My parents are strict and my curfew usually six, but on Halloween, I get to stay out till nine ! And I like candy. (:  I remembered last year I got a whole bunch HAHAHA. I was in heaven. OH and there was this lady whose doorbell we rang, and then she came out and her dog tried to get out too.And she said, " Get back in the house Gigi." and all my friends looked at me. teehee :) I'm so cool people name their dogs after me ! It was a cute dog; really fluffy and white.
         Last year I dressed up as a princess. But honestly, I just wanted to wear a dress and a crown. This year, I want to be a Tigger [the one from Winnie the Pooh]! About a week ago,  I went to Costco , and there were racks where they sell costumes for kids. They were so cute! I was looking around after I finished browsing the food aisle; then I saw the tigger costume !! But of course, it was too small for me. I would've probably needed to shrink back to a 6 year old. They should totally sell adult tigger suits though ! I would wear it for Halloween and bounce down the streets saying " TTFN ! TA TA FOR NOW !" ohmygosh ♥ Then I'd go scare the living daylights out of some random kid .

Humanity equals happiness. :D Smile !

            I think the definitive character of humanity is happiness.We humans have so many attributes but that is the most important of all. Everyone wants to be "happy" ;its just that each person has a way of fulfilling it. Some people are happy when they have a bunch of money. Some are happy when they find their lost cat. Some are happy when they win the football game.Most are extremely happy when they marry the person they love.
            Hmm, I don't really know what to say. I think human beings are really complex, bipolar creatures. My mom used to tell me this: if a person had 10 dollars, they'd want a 100.When they had 100 dollars, then they'd start wanting 1,000 and so on. We can never be satisfied. We are always looking for stuff that would make us happy. For example, a guy finally goes out with the girl he likes a lot and he's happy. Then a couple years later, he's want to marry her because he's not happy with JUST dating her. And after they get married, he'd get super duper happier when they both have kids.
           I guess what I'm trying to say is  happiness lasts only a short period before we look for OTHER things that can 'renew' that happy feeling. You know why we had all those wars and stuff ? Because some people feel content when they have power. They feel happy when their country is bigger. Being invincible is their happy feeling. It's like you can rule the entire world.
        I kinda think happiness is like food....you eat it, digest it, and then you need to find more. It's what we're striving for for our whole life. Each person interprets it differently though,depending on their age,level of maturity and personality, of course. For example,a five year old would get so joyful if his mommy and daddy takes him to the park in the morning, MC Donald's for lunch , and Chuck E' Cheese afterward. Children's minds are still pretty simple and straightforward. That would've been the best day of my life if I was still a  kid. Next up is us teenagers. Some teenager finds happiness when they start dating the person they like; sometimes they think it turns to'love' , but.. meh. I don't know. Some get super excited when they win their basketball/football/soccer games. And also when they see a bunch of food in front of their faces :) . Adults, of course, take a lot to cheer up. Their minds are so complicated. Their only happy moments is probably their marriage and their first kid. And maybe a job raise. I never see my parents extremely happy. I can't say much about an adult's happiness because I'm not one yet. Old people are happy when they have good health. They've got their children out of their hair and their house is paid for and stuff. There's nothing much to wish for except for when they hear from their doctor they have no diabetes or cancer and whatnot. Their happiness is growing old with their hubby/wife ,watching their grand kids play in the park or something , and reminiscing of 'the old days'.
            Humans have many other attributes such as greed, selfishness, and love. In my opinion, people are selfish because if they are too generous, others will take advantage of it, cheat them of all their belongings, and the person would be left with nothing and get all depressed and lonely. Therefore, they must maintain some degree of  selfishness in order to achieve their ideal of happiness. You find greed because supposedly, the more you have, the happier you are. More money, more food, more friends, more clothes;yeah, those are pretty nice stuff. Last but not least, LOVE is like 'the shit' because after we grow out of our childhood, we mostly look for our other half. Finding them makes us deliriously happy.
          When people are happy, they look friendlier, prettier, more lovable. Nobody likes some depressed moody jerk. It's good being happy because you live longer, healthier, look younger. When a happy person smiles, the corners of their eyes stretch out making their eyes look kind, and their smiles are the most beautiful. Their cheeks are pink. A happy person gets far in life. They would  mostly likely get hired during a job interview because the judges see their positive enthusiastic attitude and happy people have the warmth that just shoots out of them like sunshine.
          In my opinion, happiness feels like this warm soothing feeling. Nothing can ruin your day; you feel like flying. You laugh so much, even if something isn't funny, because you're in such a good mood. Happiness is like crack, you're just so giggly and jumpy. It feels like your heart's about to leap out with happiness. You feel like hugging all your friends and parents and giving 100% in your homework. You feel excited because you're positive the next day will be as great as the day before.
           We need happiness because if not.. what else would we have ? I mean besides that, all I can think of is being negative, having grudges, hating on everything. Doing a good deed, hanging out, making a new friend; those are all positive stuff.  I wouldn't know what else to call those feelings that makes us feel so content and infinite.

          This is how we all look like when we're happy. :) We have many moments like these every single day. We smile when we look through our cameras at the crazy pictures we take, the water fights we have on hot days, the first memory of our wedding,our first kiss, and so on. Even though we have depressing times in our lives, most of it is still consumed by our happiness. So heeey keep on smiling ! :) You can get depressed today but tomorrow, you'll definitely find something that will make your face light up and make you laugh till your stomach hurts, because it's what we're always looking for. Happiness is our goal !!!!

CE : Oh No Powerful Typhoon hits Japan

A powerful typhoon has smashed into disaster-ravaged Japan after rains that preceded it killed at least four people.Two people remained missing in the central prefecture of Gifu, including a young boy who disappeared on his way home from primary school.

         I feel hella bad for Japan. Its one disaster after another D':  Heavy rains flooded central Japan and many people had to evacuate their homes. The Toyota company has to shut down 11 of 15 plants because they're in the way of the storm. Is it just me, or are there so many natural disasters coming because we're nearing 2012 ?!
        What did Japan ever do to Mother Nature. The people living there are probably scared everyday,thinking "Oh shit, whats going to happen today, another tsunami ?" Maybe they should immigrate to somewhere else and be safer.. I dont know. Just a thought. I kinda wanna go to Japan and help them out. I want to experience their hardships. Maybe I'll appreciate life more that way?
          Ooh speaking of Japan.. I love their food. Those sushi,udon, and crepes are super yummy. Their traditional clothing is kinda cool too. It's colorful, but the material looks kinda heavy.. it's called a kimono, I think? I want to try one on for fun ! Maaan, they have a long way to go on rebuilding their cities and stuff after they were pulverized from the earthquake. I remember seeing pictures of Japan after it was hit; it was terrible. It was so broken and messy everywhere. Thank god I don't live near any water. I can't swim to save my life, not that swimming would do me any good when a tsunami hits, but.. you never know. Anyways, I hope no more disasters hits Japan, and everybody lives happily ever after. Okay.. goodnight
     

        

RE:Response to Pamela's post

So Pamela here said :

What shallow world we live in? Little kids are wearing makeup, have facial piercings, and are cursing their asses off. When I was a little kid, all I did was play outside, played board games, and watched cartoons. What the hell happened?

       Oh My gawd...kids these days are so...SMH. My little cousin is in first grade and she highlighted her hair.I was like what the heck ?  She has all the time to dye/highlight her hair all she wants when she turns 50 to cover up her white hair or whatever, but she's just too young right now ! Her hair's going to get all damaged and it might not be good for her scalp.
       I saw some third grader with a white I phone. What...? Who the hell are they even going to call ? "Oh, Mommy, I drew a biiiiiiiig flower today" I got MY phone when I was in seventh grade. -_- And there's like, 13 year olds loosing their virginity? When I was your age.... I lost a tooth. Stop going on the computer all the time and go play some freeze tag already. I have another cousin who's 5 years old and whenever he's over at my house he hogs the computer to play "Super Mario". I'm like NO,the computer is broken. Go draw some flowers.
        I hate how kids these days don't appreciate the stuff they have. They waste tons money buying G-shocks and whatnot, when they're just going to break them climbing monkey bars or something. If they were growing up in my parent's generation, they wouldn't get crap. You'd be thankful if you had just enough to eat and wear. Gawd, you wouldn't even have a tv, let alone some I-touch.  Appreciate the simple things in life ! Such as sunshine and flowers...

Free : This Birthday Dinner

        My sickly baby cousin Kingsley turned one today ! We went to a dinner party at this restaurant. There were four tables in all; two tables for my Aunt Annie's side of the family and two for my Uncle Michael's. His side is so colorful/diverse. There was like a White person and a Filipino. My aunt's side is like, all Chinese. LOL. Oh and my Uncle Michael's sisters are SO PRETTY !Even though they have kids and stuff and they're probably older than 35, but they don't have those flab everywhere and their makeup and hair is so straight and pretty. I will be pretty like that even when I'm 35+ too :D teehee. And there was lots of food, of course. Even this one aunt that I have who is usually so sloppy looking dressed nice. wow. And I wore a dress ! I LOVE dressing up. My mom needs to make more young friends... then we'll get to be invited to their weddings, and I can wear a dress. But that's not the best part !
         You know how people say that all babies are super cute ? Not necessarily... Kingsley looked kind of blotchy.. hahha (: But his older brother Issac is so adorable ! He's three. When I came to the party he ran over and hugged my legs because he's so short ♥ awww ! His eyelashes are SO LONG AND DARK. They're even darker than mine...-_-
        Okay , so the best part... was after blowing out the cake and stuff my aunty passed out goodie bags with CHOCOLATE ! <33333 ILY.

Biweekly: In a Dark Rooooooom

         They injected the anesthesia. I feel so sleepy all of a sudden;my eyelids are getting so heavy. I let myself get lost in my sleep. Five minutes later, I woke up with a start.I had a huge headache and it was dark all around. Sharp pain jabbed at my skull. Is this how a hangover feels like ? I got up on my feet. Where are the lights ? I feel so blind. Oh my god, what if I am blind ? Panic crept over me like a tsunami wave. Oh wait, never mind; I can see my hands if I put them two inches in front of my face. I'm starting to feel paranoid;what if there's like some crazy psycho in here too ? I feel chills inching up my back like caterpillars. Man, I think I've been watching too many slasher movies.
          I have to get out of here. I felt around the wall for a light switch;I was getting frustrated. The walls were cool and smooth. Okay, forget the lights. I'm going to find a flashlight ! I started pulling away from the wall, putting my hands out awkwardly in front of me, so I wouldn't trip over some unknown object. The warmth in here wraps around me like hot chocolate in the winter. This place feels familiar,where am- OW ! I stumbled on something round and hard.My left foot ached like it was being bitten by tiny ants. I waited until the sensation went away, and I picked up the object.I instantly knew it was a ball of some kind. I held it right in front of my face so I can try and see, even a little. It had patches or black and something lighter. A soccer ball ? My eyes are tingling from concentrating so hard on the ball. What is it doing here ? I haven't played soccer since I was in third grade. Since my dad had left.....
          As I held on to the soccer ball, those memories came flooding back like a waterfall. The day my dad left for war. He had been in the military. That day, I was screaming and kicking at him, typing my arms around his leg like super glue that wouldn't come off. " Daddy don't go,it's dangerous ! You could get killed !And you still have to teach  me how to play soccer !"  " Richie, daddy  will come back soon enough to celebrate Christmas with you, so be a good boy and take care of your ma for me ! I promise I'll get you some new soccer cleats too. I will be back before you know it." He gave me a hug and then left. Likewise, he died in the war and never came back. I had buried this memory to the back of my head, smothering it with layers of grief and anger.
          I blinked; why was I remembering this now ? Why is there even a  soccer ball in here? Scrunching up me face with confusion,I threw it down and started kneeling, shuffling around on the floor to look for the flashlight. The floor was carpet, fuzzy and soft. My old house had a carpet like this. What a coincidence. I kept on shuffling. 
         I rammed my head right into a closet/ shelf of some kind. I  cried out in pain, holding my poor forehead. I flopped down on the carpet to rest. I swear, I can see a billion stars dancing around my eyes.My forehead stung like it was being poked at by sharp toothpicks. A few moments later, I could feel a bump rising on my head, an angry bump. Hold up. Maybe the flashlight is in the shelf ! I got up, and opened the closet door, blindly reaching in. It smelled like lavender inside. I felt around, moving my fingers around the boxes and whatnot, hoping I don't accidentally touch something nasty. I feel something cylinder shaped and cool. It must be the flashlight !! I grinned to myself in the dark. I took it out and examined it. It was the flashlight ! I pressed the on button- nothing. Nothing happened ? WHAT ? oh no. I sprawled myself on the carpet, exasperated. I give up. I'll just lie here and wait for someone to come or something....gawd, I still don't even know where I am. I yawned. I guess I'll just take a nap.
          "-ichie.. Richie." I slowly opened my eyes. Wow, its so bright in here.  The light struck my eyes like lightning in the middle of a dark storm. Too bright ! I squinted my eyes. " Mom... ?" ,I said. "Where am I ? " " Oh, honey, don't you remember ? They found out you had a brain tumor...it was really big. You had to go through surgery to get it out. But it was so risky...there was only a 30% chance you'd make it through... I was so afraid you wouldn't make it" Then she started crying. " Shhhh, its okay, mom, I'm fine, so don't cry" I slowly peeked out of my eyes, cautiously seeing if my eyes had adjusted to the light yet. I leaved over and gave my mom a  hug. "sorry for worrying you", I said. Then I layed back down on my not-so-fluffy hospital bed.
       Okay, in case no one got this...so actually, there's this guy Richie who has a brain tumor and in the beginning of the story and he's getting it removed. He wanders around his brain subconsciously and comes one of his memories. Yeah....

CE : Children Mortality Rates are going down ! wooooo

Recently, the number of children under the age five who die annually has plummeted from 12 million in 1990 to 7.6 million in 2010. That means more kids are staying healthy and alive !

Babies are particularly vulnerable. According to the report, more than 40 per cent of deaths in children under the age of five occur within the first month of life and more than 70 per cent occur in the first year of life.

            This is GREAT news ! There's been so much sad stuff going around lately, such as the crappy economy and remembering 9/11. Well, at least we know our human population is flourishing! They say that there are many reasons for the improved under-five mortality rate, such as access to health care and preventive measures such as immunization, clean water and better nutrition.
            How nice ! Now moms don't have to live through the pain of seeing their child die before five, because now kids can live much longer than five ! It's such a  beautiful thing to see kids grow up; life is a pretty cycle. Kids are so adorable :) Everyone deserves a chance to grow old and die in their peaceful sleep. Giving birth is such  a hard task too. Imagine having a still birth... it would make the mom go into a  deep depression. If it was me, I'd probably go crazy and shake my poor baby and say' Hey wake up !!!!!' . Thank god for the new findings in medicine, new technology to do surgeries and x-rays to find out where in your body went wrong.
             I have a baby cousin who was born recently. Unfortunately, he has a kidney defect or something. He has to go to the hospital all the time ): It's kind of sad when you're just a few months old and you have to go through hella surgeries. He still visits the hospital a lot, but at least he's alive. I hope he gets cured soon !Stay strong, Kingsley !!! <3
           

RE : Nancy's post on the Michelle Le murder

           Ohmigosh I feel so bad for Michelle Le. Like Nancy said,

I honestly think if Giselle Esteban really did kill Michelle because she was hanging out with her baby's daddy, that would be ridiculous.

          I thought stuff like this only happened in 'Criminal Minds', but I guess not. It really is ridiculous to kill someone just because the person you like is hanging out with your friend. If your baby's dad isnt into you, then just find another guy that is.A tip for you, Giselle; look forward to the future ahead of you; murdering your friend isn't going to make the guy fall for you.
          I bet Giselle never thought about how Michelle's family would feel. They were so desperate. I hang around my aunty's house in San Lorenzo a lot, and I saw flyers asking for Michelle's return everywhere. I remember the reward for her return was 65,000 and a couple weeks later, it rose to 100,000. I saw the flyers all over Chinatown too. I feel so bad for Michelle's family. Even though she's confirmed dead, they still can't find her body and give her a proper burial.
         Michelle was so pretty and had a whole life ahead of her. ): Live happily in heaven, Michelle ! You'll reincarnate soon enough. PCE.
         Watching criminal minda makes me hella paranoid, but they're so exciting! Our detectives aren't as smart as the ones in the tv's. Oh my gosh.. that means if I ever got kidnapped no one would ever find me ! D:

Free : Will Winter Break Come Already

         I am so tired.It's not that I don't like school ,but there's just too much homework this year. I put AP Euro as my first priority and my sleep last. Even my weekends aren't free. This is helluh suffocating ! I just want some chill time. Oh, and because I'm Chinese , I have Chinese school at 9:30 on Saturdays. So I can never sleep in. And on Sundays....inconsiderate people call my cell phone at like 9 -_- . oh mygawwd. I'm boutta fall over from exhaustion !!!!
         I also want winter break to come faster because I want to be holed up in my house from the freezing cold. It is SUPER COLD when you do PE in the winter. I'm the cold blooded type, which means my hands are always cold no matter what. Maybe I'm actually a vampire or something...I always catch colds around December too. If I'm at home, then there would be less germs to go around (:
         Oh I almost forgot about Christmas. Not that my family really celebrate it, but still. We'd at least go out to eat. OM NOM NOM I love food :)

By the way, If I ever had a cat, I would dress it up like this for Halloween LOLOL <3  It looks soooooo cute! Too bad my mom hates animals. If I had a cat though... I'd name her Antoinette. I would take her on walks and we'd run together. She would be a special cat. She can sleep on the end of my bad and warm my cold feet in the winter. Teehee (:

I missed 6:07:08: 9/10/11

        I was eating at this buffet when this time happened. I set an alarm on my phone to inform me so that I could make a wish when 6:07:08   9/10/11 struck but I left my phone in the car. omg. It only happens once in my lifetime too. -_-   

CE :Since everyone's talking about 9-11, I think I will too.

$200,000,000,000 spent after the attacks 
1,506,124 tonnes of debris removed from the site
3,051 children lost a parent
2,819 lives were taken in the attacks
1,609 people lost their wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend
99 days the buildings continued to burn
20 percent of Americans knew someone hurt/killed in the attacks
1 day changed the world.
We will never forget. 10 years.

           
           So it's been 10 years. I was only in first grade when the 9/11 hit. I don't remember much, just that my teacher told our whole class to pray for the people who were in the Twin Towers. It's so sad that innocent people were killed, with no warning whatsoever. Their life ending, just like that. I hate terrorism and those stupid people who did it. Those people who suddenly just thought "Hmm, I'm bored today so I think I'll go bomb somewhere in New York and kill people for no reason cause I'm such a  douche and I think being a terrorist is the new trend." Okay, well dont worry. The fires of hell will keep you warm.
            This tragedy left some people scarred for life; those who witnessed it; I bet hey still have nightmares about it from time to time. Those who lost their loved ones still grief to this day. They will never forget, Those who went to clean up/help the disaster got severe chronic asthma. The people who went into the rubble and tried to save survivors; you guys are true heroes. Well..I hope nothing like this ever happens again. Its just too sad. I mean, who's cold hearted enough to bomb two buildings , stop trying to start shit. -_-
            I wonder how those people who were in the building felt? I bet they wished they didn't step into the Twin Towers that day. )': I hope all those victims reincarnate or something soon. And those terrorists.. did they ever think how doing such a  thing would cause society to criticize Muslims all around ? Saying that their people is 'bad' or whatever just because of something ONE man did, causing people all around too look down on Muslims.

Response post to hair issues. haha.

People seem to have the stereotype that all Asians have naturally straight hair. Well let me tell you something, you are WRONG.

        I totally agree with Amy Trieu. Whoever thinks that is stupid. It's just like saying ohh all white people gets freckles. Or something. Anyways, when I wake up, my hair's always in these retardedass waves. I would LIKE to have super straight hair but, maaan that's impossible. Straightening it make my hair get all dry and then it feels like straw. Not that it isn't already damaged enough. My hair's super brown from the sun. I think. People are always like " Oh, did you dye your hair ? Its so brown!" uh, no... its just damaged. haha.
         Oh another thing.. I absolutely hate how if your bangs are all gross and ugly , it makes your whole face feel ugly because bangs are like, one of the main 'things' people look at when they look at your face. And then you feel all gross for the rest of the day, therefore resulting in a negative mood the whole day. And one more thing about hair. I think its gross when girls wash their hair like, once a week so their hair is always hella oily and they're like scratching their head because its like dirty. -_- Shampoo is really not that expensive..
         I'm kinda jealous how guys' hair is always so.. healthy and conditioned. Its cause they cut it all the time ! Maybe I should get a buzz cut too. HAHAHA omigosh that would be so wild. When I grow old and get grand kids, I would be able to tell them 'Oh haaay granny got a buzz cut when I was in high school' and then they'd think I was cool. Yeah.

Nikita is on Tonight!

(: FINALLY. I've been waiting for the second season to come out since helluh looooong. but ughhhhhhh I have to finish my three posts ! snfiflnjhg;jk;lty;'ka;lekal;jgkt

Free:I Am Deathly Afraid of Spiders.

          I know spiders are good for the enviroment and all, but they just scare me. So this one  night, I was doing my homework and then my sister suddenly screams and runs out of the room. I look up and there's this HUGEASS frickin spider just chillin' on the ceiling on top  of my head. I was like 'AHHHHHH'GGHH' and I ran out of the room too. And then I went to get my mom. She stood up on  a chair and smacked it with her slippers. Ew then the spider's corpse fell onto my desk. Great, now my table is contaminated by spider cooties.
           For me, the correct way to kill a spider it to smack it and smear it against the wall till you know its dead for sure. Because that little creeper might just fall off somewhere injured, instead of dead, and hide in the corners of your room and then come back with a million spider babies the next time and eat your face. The only spider I ever liked was the one from 'Charlotte's Web'. I know I'm such a sissy for being scared of something a billion times smaller than me, but deal with it. Also,because I hate spiders, I dislike Spiderman. I think he's gross. Anyways, you spiders can chill wherever you want; I don't mind, as long as its not anywhere in my room, my house, my car, my food, my face etc. Thanks. (: And now, I'm going to eat some ice cream and watch a typical drama about stupid couples who will eventually get together in the end <3

Get To Know Me.

        Hi I'm Gigi. I'm fifteen, my birthday is on January 12 ,and I'm a sophomore at AHS. I'm 100% Chinese,which, if you believe in stereotypes, means I'm smart. I'm 5'6 3/4 but I don't play basketball because I have awkward coordination. Instead, I run track! (: My event is the 400m. In case you wanted to know, my best time is 1:08 ; I hope to get way faster this year. I'm a carefree kind of person;sort of chill and easy going. I love watching those sappy romance movies while chilling with my bowl of ice cream on the couch. And when my mom finds out I dripped ice cream on the couch, she would scream at me again.
        Like any other normal kid, I don't finish my homework till the last minute. I have absolutely no patience whatsoever; if you make me wait for more than five minutes on you, I will go crazy and throw a B.F. [ refer to the movie 'White Chicks'] (:  As for school, my worst subject is math. Last year, in Advanced Algebra 2, I failed more than half of my tests.Its a miracle I even made it to normal Pre-Cal. All we need in life is just basic addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division; we are NOT going to measure how much those chocolate chip cookies cost using the Pythagorean theorem. I am also not a morning person; if you call me before 11 on a Sunday, I will get super duper pissed. Oh, and did I mention I love chocolate ? So in case you ever wanted to bribe me...better bring them chocolate and gummy worms.
       I'm one of those active immature people that still like to play 'Sandman' and 'Monster Tag'. I know, those games are for kids, but..I just love them <3 . I shall be rich when I grow up. That's going to be a fact (: . Haha I actually have a diary I write in...because I'm such a dork that way. I have a soft spot for animals, and I'd like to have a adorable doggie,but unfortunately, my mom hates dogs. She says, 'They shit everywhere and then you have to clean it up'. Humans shit everywhere too...I mean, don't you see those streets littered with human poop ? Anyways, one thing that really gets to me is when my mom/dad/sister comes into my room and leaves without closing the door. If the door was closed before you came in, shouldn't it be common courtesy to close it when you go out ? I just hate having to get up from my chair, close the door, sit back down, only to have you people come in and leave it open again 5 minutes later.
         As for my writing goals, I would like to become an impressive,convincing writer; the kind that if I ever applied for Standford or something, they'd be so impressed with my writing introduction or whatever, they'll accept me without looking at my grades. Yea, well that's about it. I hope I didn't bore you to death! GOOD BYE.

Teehee (:

I just wanted to say Hi !